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June 6, 2005
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I've been feeling rather lethargic this summer, unable to concentrate on anything for any length of time. To a certain extent, my lack of focus obviously can be attributed to the fact that I'll be moving in less than a month, and as Ryan points out, moving can produce a lot of stress and a lot of mixed emotions. I'm certainly excited about the move. Washington is a cool city, and my teaching gig next year is a great opportunity. So I'm trying not to sound like I'm complaining, at least not too much.
So, yeah, I'm excited about the move, but, like Ryan and Claire, I'm also aware of some of the things I'll miss about the place I'm leaving. In particular, I've grown to enjoy Georgia State's amazing Album 88. I'll also very much miss my favorite bagel shop, Bagel Palace Deli and Bakery (any good bagel suggestions in Hyattsville?), Manuel's Tavern, and other favorite Atlanta haunts. Of course, because my family lives here in Atlanta, I don't feel a sense of permanent loss because I can always revisit these places when I visit. I think it's more of a sense of disruption or disorientation.
I'm caught up in the sense that I'm waiting for something to happen, that everything is on hold until The Move takes place. I've also found it difficult to get into any kind of routine so far this summer. Because I'm already deep enough in debt that a self-financed summer sabbatical is a bad idea, I've also been doing some very tedious freelance-type work. The work isn't difficult, but it requires enough concentration that, at the end of the day (one that starts insanely early), my brain is completely fried, and the last thing I want to do is read or even look at a screen (after a day of this kind of work, even watching TV is unpleasant). And my breaks from that work have consisted of either looking for an apartment or waiting to go back to work.
This sense of being on hold is partially exacerbated by the fact that my '89 Mazda has been having all sorts of electrical problems, leaving me stranded for pretty much every weekend this summer (other than seeing a re-release of Major Dundee this weekend, I can't remember the last time I was in a movie theater). So, long story short, the entire summer, so far, has been characterized by waiting and immobility.
I've been trying to follow KF's suggestion that some meandering can be productive, but right now, the enforced waiting, the inconsistent reading, and the infrequent writing have only left me feeling impatient and edgy. I think that when I arrive in DC, I'll regain a sense of direction, that I won't feel quite as placeless as I do right now.
Posted by chuck at June 6, 2005 1:44 PM
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Comments
but right now, the enforced waiting, the inconsistent reading, and the infrequent writing have only left me feeling impatient and edgy.
Do you feel like you're on airplane right after it lands, but are waiting.. waiting.. waiting to disembark?
I'm moving in late July to Augusta to start my new job, yet I can't prepare to move since I've got this damn bar exam.. and then somehow I've got to decompress from the exam and pack up my entire life to a new city within a matter of days.
I've been seeing the same people everyday for the last three years and every day this summer for study sessions and then what? It's all gone within a matter of days.
Posted by: Jen at June 6, 2005 3:47 PM
I can't believe I just used within a matter of days at the end of each paragraph.
Posted by: Jen at June 6, 2005 3:48 PM
That's a pretty apt comparison, with the waiting going 24/7. At least I don't have to prep for the bar exam while I'm planning my move.
Regrading the repetition of "within a matter of days:" that's something I usually notice as soon as I send a comment. The comment is posting, and I'm frantically clicking "back" on my browser to no avail.
Posted by: Chuck ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://chutry.wordherders.net/nav-commenters.gif)
at June 6, 2005 4:14 PM
Don't underestimate how much moving can f*ck with you. (Hey, I don't know, you might not like dirty words on your blog.) I learned that more that once.
Posted by: Amber at June 6, 2005 5:41 PM
Amber, feel free to type out all profanity. I probably need more dirty words in my blog. But, yeah, I'd forgotten how stressful moving can be (I've moved out-of-state four times in the last ten years, so I should know by now).
Posted by: Chuck at June 6, 2005 5:58 PM
Since I'm still looking around at boxes from our move LAST YEAR, I certainly sympathize with how moving unsettles you... And it sounds like your freelance work isn't exactly relaxing.
On the side topic - spelling out profanity sure doesn't bother me in the least either, but the Blacklist that catches spam will likely flag it and block the comment (since that word is often followed by "a horse" or "a sheep" or other spam nonsense). Just FYI.
Posted by: Jason at June 7, 2005 10:32 AM
Jason, I've moved so often that I have designated one of my boxes as That Box, the box that moves everywhere with me but never shall be opened. But, I think that waiting for Mind Numbing Freelance Work Week sans car was probably creating more stress.
Posted by: Chuck at June 9, 2005 7:34 PM